I had to “force” myself to be okay and to be grateful towards my condition. But while I was thinking about this piece, I found out that I no longer see myself as someone “two different sides” but there is only one me – despite of all of my insecurities. I have been trying to love myself more, to exercise more, get to know myself better that my illness does not define me and I have been happier ever since.
In my piece I depicted the “inside” of myself as a small child who really tries to protect herself from all the negativity, words and action that she found “attacking” her. (Eye patched to show the hurt from TED.)
And then there is the “outside”, I drew myself as a “big sister” figure: mature, at peace, reliable, embracing the hurting small child, telling her that despite everything she is loved. She deserves to feel loved and she is accepted. The “love” from the “outside” me is reaching to heal the “inside” me.